An urge builds, a voice in one everlasting whisper, day and night repeated until I just have to go. It doesn’t really matter where I go. All that matters is that I go. Somewhere different. Somewhere new. Just being in motion feels good. It’s the uncomplicated enjoyment of a road movie. It’s what drove Alexander Supertramp to head Into The Wild and Dean Moriarty to rampage madly westwards On The Road.
Beginning, making a start, is the most important stage of everything I do. Overcoming inertia and building up momentum is difficult but vital. It is like a dam wall bursting, unleashing a powerful wall of potential energy.
Anticipation is a large part of it. Nerves and excitement brew in my belly. I’m diffident by nature so the nerves outweigh the excitement. I find it difficult to commit to action. I worry about all that might go wrong and have to cajole myself instead to imagine all the good things that might happen.
But once I go, everything feels better. I love the thrill of beginning new projects and new journeys. As well as the usual realisation that things are actually going to turn out OK, days feel full of possibilities once again. The sort of feeling that makes me whoop and laugh and feel like the luckiest man alive.