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elephant

A Quickfire Trail interview

 

Whats the highest mountain youve climbed?

I have climbed virtually no mountains. This pains me! The highest I’ve been is “near the top of Illimani” but we had to turn back when my pal got altitude sickness.

Whats your nickname?

Al? This interview isn’t going very well so far, is it!

Funniest thing youve seen on a hill?

A friend getting such bad buttock chafing that he decided to try my facetious suggestion of lubricating with a banana…

Have you ever Googled yourself?

Alas, yes.

Youre in a pub. Whats on the menu?

Steak! Chips. Don’t bother with the veg…

Who would play you in a movie about your life?

I’d love to say Brad Pitt. But more people thing I look like Boris Johnson…

What was the last book you read?

The Right Stuff – Tom Woolfe

What tastes best on the hill?

Biltong

Whats scarier, heights or sharks?

Heights. (Refer to answer 1)

Whats your favourite animal?

Elephant

Whats the worst thing youve ever eaten?

Elephant. Not really… Balut in the Philippines (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balut_(food))

Weirdest place youve slept?

Sewage pipes on 3 continents.

Most expensive piece of kit you own?

Canon 5D Mkii, and an Alpacka packraft.

If you had to do a real job, what would it be?

Teacher

Wild camp or posh hotel?

I’ll pick a posh hotel, please! Anyone can wild camp in wonderful, beautiful places any night they choose. A posh hotel is therefore a more novel and unattainable treat.

Which celeb would you like to share a tent with?

Bruce Springsteen. I’m intrigued by anyone who keeps their passion, quality of output, and integrity over a long career.

Scafell Pike, Snowdon or Ben Nevis?

Scafell Pike. I’m English, proud of it, and I love Wasdale.

Whos your mountaineering hero?

Felice Benuzzi, or Mark Twight (Kiss or Kill was one of my formative books)

When were you last naked outdoors?

Yesterday. And I will be again tomorrow.

Whos your most famous friend?

I hate, hate people being labelled “famous”. I do loads of talks in schools and kids often ask if I am famous or a celebrity. Yuk. Sorry for the curmudgeonly answer!

How much is a pint of tea at Petes Eats?

The last few times I’ve been there I’ve managed to dodge the bill!

Your ultimate mountain day in three words

Sunrise. Swim. Mates.

This interview originally appeared in Trail Magazine.

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